Proposition 8 & Gay Marriage: Don't Take Our Marriage Away from Us

My partner and I just got back from San Francisco, where we were married in a ceremony in front of our closest family. It was a beautiful wedding on a covered patio overlooking the Ferry Building and the Bay Bridge, punctuated by a San Francisco thunderstorm (photo at right by Photographer Nick Lostracco). For two wonderful days, we've be married in the eyes of the state of California.



It's hard to describe the joy that we both feel at this new state of our relationship - after 16 1/2 years together, we're more connected than we've ever been, and are surrounded by the love and support of our families and the sanctioning of our marriage by the state.



If you're married, you know what it feels like - to have those closest to you travel hundreds or thousands of miles just to stand beside you and honor your relationship to one another. To look into your beloved's eyes and promise to love, cherish, honor and support them for the rest of your lives together.



What if all of that could be taken from you by a popular vote? What if an organized religious group could take away your marriage license from you? What if someone who didn't even know you could step into a secret room and decide to split your newly formed union asunder, and there was nothing you could do or say to get it back?



This is what Proposition 8 is really about, plain and simple. If it passes, no other gay and lesbian couples will be allowed to get married in the state of California. And once this discrimination is firmly enshrined in the state Constitution, they'll come after the couples who were married before November 4th.



The Yes on 8 folks will tell you that the religious people of California are the true victims here - that the gay folks are coming after their tax exempt status, their freedom of speech, and their children. But who was it that organized a ballot measure to take away someone else's rights?



You won't find a proposition on the ballot on November 4th to take away the tax exemption for churches. You won't find one to allow people to sue other people for their religious beliefs. And you won't find an amendment to force schools to teach same sex marriage to children. We've never tried to take these things away from them.



What you will find on your ballot is Proposition 8, an amendment to the California State Constitution that's designed solely to eliminate marriage rights for gay and lesbian citizens. The religious right, including the Mormon Church, whose members account for upwards of 70% of Prop 8's funding, have spent millions to put this measure on the ballot, and will spend close to $30 million by election day to try to enforce their own version of morality on the rest of us.



This keeps me up at night - the worry that, by a simple 50% plus one majority, the voters of California will once again relegate us to second-class citizenship - will once again tell me that I'm not as good as everyone else.



My partner Mark and I never asked to be gay - we were born this way, and were lucky enough to find one another in the crazy world we all live in. I grew up thinking that I'd never be able to get married, and my mother, I'm sure, felt the same when I came out to her as a young, gay man.



When Gavin Newsom told the city of San Francisco to start offering marriage licenses to gay and lesbian couples four and a half years ago, he gave us an unexpected and fiercely welcomed hope. And when the California Supreme Court ruled in May that we were entitled to the same rights as everyone else, we felt uplifted, honored, and welcomed in a way that we never had before.



On Saturday, Mark and I fulfilled our dream, as we stood before our family and friends and promised our hearts to one another forever.



If Proposition 8 passes on Tuesday, there will be real-world consequences for thousands of gay and lesbian couples in California. For straight couples, not much will have changed, but for each of us who were married since mid-June, our worlds will be torn apart.



So when you you step into the voting booth on California (and Arizona and Florida) on Tuesday, what we ask is simple - vote with your heart, and remember the 16,000 couples who have stood before their families, their communities, and yes, even their churches, and said their sacred wedding vows to one another.



Honor them with your vote against Proposition 8.



--Scott